The bulwer-lytton awards for 2009 have been announced .... for those of you unaware, bulwer-lytton contest commemorates the author who, in addition to giving us THE LAST DAYS OF POMPEII, also penned the novel Paul Clifford,
which has the immortal opening lines: "It was a dark and stormy night"
I promise you that reading these award winning entries will be much more entertaining, uplifting, and edifying that anything you will see on any news channel today. And it won't cost the LAPD one red cent
I have several favorites but here are some must shares:
She walked into my office on legs as long as one of those long-legged birds that you see in Florida - the pink ones, not the white ones - except that she was standing on both of them, not just one of them, like those birds, the pink ones, and she wasn't wearing pink, but I knew right away that she was trouble, which those birds usually aren't.
Sun Prairie, WI
The dame sauntered silently into Rocco's office, but she didn't need to speak; the blood-soaked gown hugging her ample curves said it all: "I am a shipping heiress whose second husband was just murdered by Albanian assassins trying to blackmail me for my rare opal collection," or maybe, "Do you know a good dry cleaner?"
Los Angeles, CA